It is always interesting to see Sir interact with his roomie.

I know a part of their history - I know that they dated for a long time. That she was the Mrs. Bones to his Mr., that they had a love of intense passion. And I wish I had the courage to ask what happened, how they ended. Just to try to figure things out between them.

When it is just the three of us, it is absolutely amazing how much focus he has on her. It is like... there is no other person in the room for him. She is the one he speaks to, and though his arm is around me, his eyes stay fixed on hers, like they are trying to soak in her presence. I am not there. When we go out shopping, he will pick up little presents for her, like cupcakes and makeup, just as he will for me. When they chitchat in the hallways, it lasts for forty-minutes. It is... Just an interesting connection.

I am not speaking out of jealousy. Or fear, or insecurity. Because there are no jealous feelings - I do not feel envy and I do not feel resentment or anger. I like his roommate. She makes me grin and I think she is beautiful, and she is friendly, and I think she goes out of her way to make me feel welcome, and I appreciate that more than I can possibly say. And I don't sense anything sexual there - which means there is no fear. I don't sense the desire for them to get back together It is easy to say that they are best friends - but it is more than that.

But it does bring up feelings of sadness. Because I sense a bond there, the complex kind that defies words, deeper than anything that Sir and I have. And it makes the walls go up - reinforced distance. Because how can I form a bond with someone who feels so utterly connected with someone else? I can't. My past won't let me. I spent years doing that. It hurts too much.

*sighs* I don't know how to talk to him about this. I don't want to seem jealous or insecure, because those aren't my feelings. It just... Makes me sad. And wary.